(Photo credit by Hannah Summers Twitter account)
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
This will come as a surprise to the Summers family, as Peg’s passing was truly, personally heart breaking to me. See, they don’t know me, nor have they ever heard of me.
Allow me to show how God, our Creator, is Mightier than we finite mists could ever imagine, and how He actively works in lives – and surprisingly – globally, OK?
When I heard about this intimate letter, Peg’s daughter posted that went viral everything became more “real” as it was literally becoming – visual to me. Her name is Peggy, short for Margaret, but I only knew her as “Peg” – my friend’s sister.
(Follow closely to my unique creative technique, because it’s going to go every direction – starting – NOW!)
Dear Miss Hannah,
I borrowed your precious photos (found some off the internet too), and gave you full credit right up there for the use, okay? Just hit your name because it’s a link.
I hope you like this, and I’m also here for you. There’s a contact page to reach me. It’s a little different, isn’t it? That’s why I’m doing it — because I can.
People tend to call me “Kat” in a public forum.
I’d love to chat someday!
©IM Infusion Musings — here.
This a perfect opportunity to reveal a phrase I used repeated thus far in my writing,
“I am my Korean mother’s “special daughter”.
-©IM Infusion Musings
My mom agrees. So allow me to preface that for you now, in regards to the title.
Koreans are born with jet black hair. I was born a blonde.
My mom was shocked, didn’t know any better, honestly thought they gave her the wrong baby — but took me anyway. Isn’t that funny? She loves, loves, loves that story!
She happens to love blonde hair, and my dad happens to be a blonde. My hair texture is very much like his. It’s ultra delicate, fine and silky – very problematic when long.
Later it was explained to her about recessive genes so she could understand, so that made our bond even more special. (Including my name.)
The Korean culture has a long history of a vanity streak. It’s changed drastically over the decades, but it goes way back.
Trust me – I have it, but there’s something stronger that’s been tugging at my heart for about two years now. The first year (2016) it was just me – wondering. (My wonderment is always like asking God in prayer, yet He instills it within me… then answers my wonderment or prayer.) Then I looked into something else (2017), but had no real inspiration — to give me the shove I needed.
Basically, I let it grow once, and cut it off in 2016.
I let it grow again in 2017, because I’ve had no reason to cut it. The majority of my life it was always long like my mother’s. As I got older it was a classy short cut, but I foiled, highlighted, or bleached streaks to hide any white or silver.
THAT took guts! Then I got hooked.
I’m so meticulous with my hair. Not just anybody is allowed to touch it. Put it this way – I’ll die with my stylist, and for all she knows – for the past year? I am already gone.
Lately, and I don’t do this much, nor have I ever – I’ve been contemplating myself as I look in the mirror – but now it’s about going natural. That means I’ll have a tad bit of silver, white or whatever it is others might see.
The problem isn’t them – it’s with me.
I don’t see this, and used no flash. I just “do what I do with it”, and walk away. I very rarely brush it or it’ll break, and stopped blowing it dry. There are no split ends as far as I can see either.
I have gotten the extra shove I need to take “take the BIG STEP”, and I’d like for you to join me – in your own way – please.
I’m preparing to donate my hair for the first time, but I have to cut out the bleached portions too. I can barely see the cut off point!
Remember: my hair is truly “special”. It’s baby fine, silky, soft, and more. I live to bridge gaps, and rebuild down burned bridges in relationships, right? My own mom isn’t young, and I live to encourage her live longer than she ever imagined.
Therefore, I also had to explain something to her.
My Korean mother – loves to see my hair cut and appearing to be “blonde”. It makes her happy and reminds her of when I was a baby.
Here’s the deal. My mom still has me, and this is just “hair” otherwise, right? But in my heart, and to others it sure would mean a lot more!
It’s not about me, yet as any leader or manager knows… we all need to keep momentum, right?
This endeavor is inspired by Peggy Summers, dedicated to the Summers family as a whole specifically, and together as an inspiration for cancer survivors.
First of all, deep in my heart – I know someone would really like to have some of this beautiful hair. So if I can grow it, why wouldn’t I share it? I’ve know some very dear loved ones who have left us, and lost their hair due to cancer treatment — before departing.
Do you know a parent who has a child with cancer? There are also children who would love to have childlike hair – like I have – it’s just like my dad’s. Our hair is like it never really changed in texture. It knots up really bad! But that’s the beauty of children’s hair — it’s not coarse.
Here’s the VERY BEST part:
I met one of Peg’s brothers before she passed away. He’s a pretty awesome man, very respectful, and his wife knows about me. She’s truly lovely, very Christ-like, and spectacular woman too.
My recall is coming back, we met because he donated to me. Somehow I found him and thanked him. God had a greater purpose though. We became friends. One day he mentioned his sister Peg, and I tend to request a first name only so I can pray for whomever. (Not just anybody though, nor on a continuous basis. God burdens my heart.)
Then I became concerned about their family, asked if Peg had children, and then about their mother. I got her name, “Hi mom!”, and keep them in my prayers, with Peg’s children.
Peg’s brother works very hard with incredibly long hours that I cannot fathom. So he’s a man of few words, and somehow I found out Peg is indeed married.
I tend to keep long-term relationships in the present tense, precisely because of the depth of “long-term”. The passing or loss of a loved one for many years is not automatically severed, and the grieving process can take years. Everyone is different.
Which leads me to Peg’s husband, and Hannah’s dad. He’s the big man in the letter and photos – any guy eying Hannah has to go through him! Yikes!
Hello Mr. Summers,
I’ll call you Mr. T.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to reach out to someone I don’t know, but am truly concerned about? It’s kind of weird that I’m writing to you isn’t it?
You kind of have to read around here to get a better understanding of me. I can’t guarantee it’ll be easy, but you can reach out to me. There’s a contact page, here. (It’s a link, or at the top of the page – just hit it sometime.)
I’m here to encourage you and your family, and help lift you up — unlike the media with your precious daughter. It had to have a ripple effect on your entire family.
Ask Peg’s brother. Okay? I truly care about your wellbeing. He knows. I tend to “not drop things” when it comes to certain people, but I sure did stop writing because of you and your family.
God knows why too.
People call me “Kat” in a public forum. (I said that… didn’t I?)
©IM Infusion Musings – here.
So, little Miss Hannah, back to you — it’s reported in one of the bazillion media reports I saw – the Miami Herald stated this,
She wrote that she was amazed and thankful that her mom’s words have brought comfort to so many people around the world.
It’s very generous of you toward others, yet leaves you a rather big empty hole in your own heart. Am I right?
Sounds like something a beautiful soul of a woman, a strong Godly mother like yours would instill within you. True? How do I know? My mother did the same thing with me.
There IS something nobody is EVER prepared for, and tell me if I’m correct — okay?
When or after one is overwhelmed, and the silence hits – nobody can prepare anyone for that change, or the big empty void left in “your” heart.
Am I close?
Mr. T might even be able to relate to that. How about it, Mr. T?
In fact, others around the world can probably relate also. There’s an element of shock in, and to “our” lives, when it all comes to a sudden halt. Right?
It can trigger other issues in life like:
- Safety — not feeling safe or secure at home so much anymore (but how do you express that to anyone?)
- Feeling lost or directionless — even with goals — there’s that big gaping hole!
- Maybe having uncomfortable dreams? Waking up sad – to find your mind reeling.
- Some other things… causing one to project their feelings upon another.
- It could bring up a host of negative stuff.
How does one address it, all these things, any one thing, and to whom – especially if you don’t want to? Especially feeling a big empty hole in your heart?
“We’d” really like for it to stop, but that too can lead to feelings of guilt. (It gets kind of messy in our minds, then combine it with feelings — anything could result.)
- First of all, be patient with your own self. OK?
- Lighten up on YOU – first, and pray… Cast your burdens on Christ, that’s why He came to be our Savior to rescue us. Right? (Hannah, that’s your tweet. True? It’s perfect advice. Just like God moved your mom, He moved you too… for yourself FIRST. That’s how He works.)
- Be kindest to the one next to you – FIRST step in relationships.
- Allow yourself to grieve. It’s necessary. CRY! It’s a built in release valve, and nobody ever died from crying.
- ALWAYS be polite… even when it feels hard. Anger IS controllable.
- TALK. Just like Peg wrote… talk. As awkward as it might be — start! One word at a time.
- Ask about each other’s day, find a common bond, and keep it positive. Start simple, and it will grow. Like planting a seed – you must cultivate it.
Remember this: Relationships are between two — not three. The latter is called triangulation. Sounds like it cuts of air — almost. Well, it does verbally. It destroys the life of relationships. That part is called — communication. Communication is as vital in relationships – as say – kidneys. Healthy communication filters out doubt and mistrust.
That element of shock, if one does not push through, it can almost paralyze a person, then it leads to another word. Many experience it with a sudden loss, or death of a loved one. It’s called trauma.
Silence of another does NOT help. It’s true we need to talk, yet there’s another side — we must learn to listen too!
Mr. T, you might be interested in knowing that as we get a bit older, these “setbacks” become harder to rebound from, than when we were younger.
You might be wondering where I picked this up. I read Peg’s obituary, and I’m able to piece things together that others can’t quite see.
One recommendation to anyone reading – if anything noticeable strikes you personally, and you’d like to know more? There is a contact page. Pick a topic and I’d happy to address it more simply. Click right here.
We are not an island. We live on this earth to be interdependent with each other. The end of relationships are inevitable for everyone. Even if married or together for 1, 5-10, 20, or 60-70 years, it will come to an end. To think otherwise is foolhardy.
Invariably Peg was right about life — for everybody — NOT one of us knows when life will be over. It only takes one heartbeat, one breath, one phone call for everything to change.
Out of my deepest concern for Peg’s brother and others — when I sense a loved one’s fear of death, I do make every effort to ease it with the most comforting method that I was blessed to have. He can attest, and so can others.
It’s a phrase that I see, or can hear, and know what is imagined next — it’s not necessary, yet will be. So I ease friends into the phase of hospice with their eyes open early.
My experience was unnecessarily negative and premature, but a total BLESSING! God cannot be thanked enough!
THIS — is all part of God’s Infinite Plan. Can you see it? Hopefully the Summers, and extended family can. God’s work is mostly visible via hindsight, thus the footprints in the sand.
I do write for donations, and for more reasons than one. Especially now! Details to follow.
©IM Infusion Musings a casual peer level life coach, with an extensive professional business background too. My style is to guide and write to you impromptu, personally, and help you smile. I’ve been known for years to make the really tough stuff in life – appear less – complex; lift burdens, and help make life appear more – clear – to understand more easily.
Understanding yourself, brings you a sense peace.
(Still waters run very deep.)
Born in Petri dish of incredible, unimaginable, diversity helps tremendously with inherently understanding and sensing, interwoven intricacies in communications, and in the most difficult relationships. (Including the one with your “self”.)
My Korean mother reared me as child to think globally and about others first, founded upon a culture of respect. It’s definitely flawed culturally for women around the world. It’s also a common theme that’s WAY out of balance.