(Photo credit by Hannah Summers Twitter account)
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
This will come as a surprise to the Summers family, as Peg’s passing was truly, personally heart breaking to me. You might be wondering, “Why?” They don’t know me, nor have they ever heard of me.
God, our Creator, is Mightier than we finite mists could ever imagine. He actively works in lives – surprisingly – and globally.
When I heard about this intimate letter, Peg’s daughter posted that went viral – everything became more “real” as it was literally becoming – visual to me. Her name is Peggy, short for Margaret, but I only knew her as “Peg” – my friend’s sister.
(Follow closely to my unique creative technique, because it’s going to go every direction – starting – NOW!)
Dear Miss Hannah,
I borrowed your precious photos (found some off the internet too), and gave you full credit right up there for the use, okay? Just hit your name because it’s a link.
I hope you like this, and I’m also here for you. There’s a contact page to reach me. It’s a little different, isn’t it? That’s why I’m doing it — because I can.
I’d still love to chat someday!
This a perfect opportunity to reveal a phrase I used repeated thus far in my writing,
“I am my Korean mother’s “special daughter”.
-founder of ©GStreetJewels
My mom agrees. So allow me to preface that for you now, in regards to the title.
Koreans are born with jet black hair. I was born a blonde.
My mom was shocked, didn’t know any better, honestly thought they gave her the wrong baby — but took me anyway. Isn’t that funny? She love, love, loves that story!
She happens to love blonde hair, and my dad happens to be a blonde. My hair texture is very much like his. It’s ultra delicate, fine and silky – very problematic when long.
Later it was explained to her about recessive genes so she could understand, making our bond even more special. (Including my name. Everything about me is seemingly confusing! But it’s not, it’s very endearing.)
The Korean culture has a long history of a vanity streak. It’s changed drastically over the decades, but it goes way back.
Trust me – I have it, but there’s something stronger that’s been tugging at my heart for about two years now. The first year (2016) it was just me – wondering. (My wonderment is always like asking God in prayer, yet He instills it within me… then answers my wonderment or prayer.) Then I looked into something else (2017), but had no real inspiration — to give me the little shove I needed.
Basically, I let my hair grow once, and cut it off in 2016. I let it grow again in 2017, because I’ve had no reason to cut it.
The majority of my life it was always long like my mother’s. As I got older it was a classy short cut, but I foiled, highlighted, or bleached streaks to hide any white or silver.
THAT took guts! Then I got hooked.
I’m so meticulous with my hair. Not just anybody is allowed to touch it. Put it this way – I’ll die with my stylist, and for all she knows – for the past year? I am already gone.
Lately, and I don’t do this much, nor have I ever – I’ve been contemplating as I look in the mirror – but now it’s about going natural. That means I’ll have a tad bit of silver, white or whatever it is others might see.
The problem isn’t them – it’s with me.
I don’t see this, and used no flash. I just “do what I do with it”, and walk away. I very rarely brush it or it’ll break, and stopped blowing it dry. There are no split ends as far as I can see either.
I have gotten the extra shove needed to take “take the BIG STEP”, and I’d like for you to join me – in your own way – please.
I’m preparing to donate my hair for the first time, but I have to follow rules, and cut out the bleached portions too. I can barely see the cut off point!
Remember: my hair is truly “special”. It’s baby fine, silky, soft, and more. I live to bridge gaps, and rebuild down burned bridges in relationships, right? My own mom isn’t young, and I live to encourage her to live longer than she ever imagined.
Therefore, I also had to explain something to her.
My Korean mother – loves to see my hair cut and appearing to be “blonde”. It makes her happy and reminds her of when I was a baby. My mom is my biggest fan, and she is obviously mine – thus Hannah’s love for her mom.
Here’s the deal. My mom still has me, and this is just “hair” otherwise, right? But in my heart, and to others it sure would mean a lot more! It’s not about me, yet as any leader or manager knows… we all need to keep momentum, right?
This endeavor is inspired by Peggy Summers, dedicated to the Summers family as a whole specifically, and together as an inspiration for cancer survivors.
First of all, deep in my heart – I know someone would really like to have some of this beautiful hair. So if I can grow it, why wouldn’t I share it? I’ve know some very dear loved ones who have left us, and lost their hair due to cancer treatment — before departing.
Do you know a parent who has a child with cancer? There are also children who would love to have childlike hair – like I have – it’s just like my dad’s. Our hair is like it never really changed in texture. It knots up really bad! But that’s the beauty of children’s hair — it’s not coarse.
Here’s the VERY BEST part:
I met one of Peg’s brothers before she passed away. He’s a pretty awesome man, very respectful, and his wife knows about me. She’s truly a lovely woman, very Christ-like, and both are very studious.
My recall is coming back, we met because he encouraged me, and I thanked him. God had a greater purpose though. We became friends. One day he mentioned his sister Peg, and I tend to request a first name only so I can pray for whomever. (Not just anybody though, nor on a continuous basis. God burdens my heart.)
Then I became concerned about their family, asked if Peg had children, and then about their mother. I got her name, “Hi mom!”, and keep them in my prayers, with Peg’s children.
Peg’s brother works very hard with incredibly long hours that I cannot fathom. So he’s a man of few words, and somehow I found out Peg is indeed married.
I tend to keep long-term relationships in the present tense, precisely because of the depth of “long-term”. The passing or loss of a loved one for many years is not automatically severed, and the grieving process can take years. Everyone is different.
Which leads me to Peg’s husband, and Hannah’s dad. He’s the big man in the letter and photos – any guy eying Hannah has to go through him! Yikes! (For whomever!)
So, little Miss Hannah, back to you — it’s reported in one of the bazillion media reports I saw – the Miami Herald stated this,
She wrote that she was amazed and thankful that her mom’s words have brought comfort to so many people around the world.
It’s very generous of you toward others, yet leaves you a rather big empty hole in your own heart. Am I right?
Sounds like something a beautiful soul of a woman, a strong Godly mother like yours would instill within you. True? How do I know? My mother did the same thing with me.
There IS something nobody is EVER prepared for, and tell me if I’m correct — okay?
When or after one is overwhelmed, and the silence hits – nobody can prepare anyone for that change, or the big empty void left in “your” heart.
Am I close?
In fact, others around the world can probably relate also. There’s an element of shock in, and to “our” lives, when it all comes to a sudden halt. Right?
It can trigger other issues in life like:
- Safety — not feeling safe or secure at home so much anymore (but how do you express that to anyone?)
- Feeling lost or directionless — even with goals — there’s that big gaping hole!
- Maybe having uncomfortable dreams? Waking up sad – to find your mind reeling.
- Some other things… causing one to project their feelings upon another.
- It could bring up a host of negative stuff.
How does one address it, all these things, any one thing, and to whom – especially if you don’t want to? Especially feeling a big empty hole in your heart?
“We’d” really like for it to stop, but that too can lead to feelings of guilt. (It gets kind of messy in our minds, then combine it with feelings — anything could result.)
- First of all, be patient with your own self. OK?
- Lighten up on YOU – first, and pray… Cast your burdens on Christ, that’s why He came to be our Savior to rescue us. Right? (Hannah, that’s your tweet. True? It’s perfect advice. Just like God moved your mom, He moved you too… for yourself FIRST. That’s how He works.)
- Be kindest to the one next to you – FIRST step in relationships.
- Allow yourself to grieve. It’s necessary. CRY! It’s a built in release valve, and nobody ever died from crying.
- ALWAYS be polite… even when it feels hard. Anger IS controllable.
- TALK. Just like Peg wrote… talk. As awkward as it might be — start! One word at a time.
- Ask about each other’s day, find a common bond, and keep it positive. Start simple, and it will grow. Like planting a seed – you must cultivate it.
Remember this: Relationships are between two — not three. The latter is called triangulation. Sounds like it cuts of air — almost. Well, it does verbally. It destroys the life of relationships. That part is called — communication. Communication is as vital in relationships – as say – kidneys. Healthy communication filters out doubt and mistrust.
That element of shock, if one does not push through, it can almost paralyze a person, then it leads to another word. Many experience it with a sudden loss, or death of a loved one. It’s called trauma.
Silence of another does NOT help. It’s true we need to talk, yet there’s another side — we must learn to listen too!
As we get a bit older, these “setbacks” become harder to rebound from, than when we were younger.
One recommendation to anyone reading – if anything noticeable strikes you personally, and you’d like to know more? There is a contact page. Pick a topic and I’d happy to address it more simply.
We are not an island. We live on this earth to be interdependent with each other. The end of relationships are inevitable for everyone. Even if married or together for 1, 5-10, 20, or 60-70 years, it will come to an end. To think otherwise is foolhardy.
Invariably Peg was right about life — for everybody — NOT one of us knows when life will be over. It only takes one heartbeat, one breath, one phone call for everything to change.
Out of my deepest concern for Peg’s brother and others — when I sense a loved one’s fear of death, I do make every effort to ease it with the most comforting method that I was blessed to have. He can attest, and so can others.
It’s a phrase that I see, or can hear, and know what is imagined next — it’s not necessary, yet will be. So I ease friends into the phase of hospice with their eyes open early.
My experience was unnecessarily negative and premature, but a total BLESSING! God cannot be thanked enough!
THIS — is all part of God’s Infinite Plan. Can you see it? Hopefully the Summers, and extended family can. God’s work is mostly visible via hindsight, thus the footprints in the sand.
I do write for donations, and for more reasons than one. Especially now! Details to follow.